Where do I start.....
Life is full of so many surprises, some good , some BAD, some indifferent. An example of a good one is this past weekend, my darling husband took me on a runaway for my upcoming birthday. I will be 54 on Wednesday, it's hard for me to believe that. Anyway, we went off to Calgary to see a concert, that was all I knew when we left after a half day of work. It was like an old fashion date night, we went to an Old Drive in Burger joint for dinner, we went to a church for the concert, and I didn't know who I was going to see until the last 5 minutes of the opening act and the talked about the main act.... DALA one of my absolute favourite singing duo's. I was so surprised.... I have the sweetest husband ever. He has treated me like a Queen all weekend. He treats me like that most of the time, but times like this are extra special.
A BAD surprise can come in the form of a tragic death like Michelle's or like me finding out this past week that my only sister has a very aggressive form of Cancer and has started Chemo. You might ask why is that such a big surprise when they tell us that most of us will have some form of cancer in our life time. I think it is because of the type of cancer that she has, Cervical Cancer. When I did the research about it and the probable causes..... well it should have been me that got this kind of cancer. You know the HPV that everyone seems to be talking about,you know the stuff that leads to this kind of cancer, that the main causes are having sex before you are 18, hell I had a baby before I was 18, at 16 in fact. I had sex for the first time at 13. It lists having multiple partners as one of the probable causes..... that's another one that screams ME. I've had more partners than I can remember.....
But my sister... well she is 9 years older than me and so she grew up in a different time than me and well let's just say, while she wasn't a prude, she just followed societies expectations, you know back when the norm was to still be a virgin when you got married. Well my sister had the right to wear that beautiful white velvet wedding dress that she made for herself, and judging by questions that she has asked me over the years, I am pretty sure that she has never slept with anyone other than her husband. I am pretty sure that he has been faithful to her, he doesn't strike me as the type who would stray. (I'm not naive on that point, I've known enough of the kind that do to last me a life time.)
So that is one of the BAD surprises in life, leaves me wondering why....
As for the ones that fall under indifferent well that can be a little harder to define. I guess one for me I always am surprised when people think that I have it all together, you know, am confident and poised. Whether it is in my everyday life or my work place. I say to myself "If they only knew how I see myself." I say "It's an optical allusion". if only they could see the REAL me.
So I sit here and think, what does it really mean, and how do I take this in? What do I keep and what do I let pass through my life, how do I handle it. What is really important? Tonight I feel so great, so loved, so special. I battle with the good feelings, thinking of my sister who is literally fighting for her life. What do I take from that? I read a quote at one of my friends mother's funerals and I think that is sums it up.... "The greatest gift we can give to those who have left us is to live fully in their place." I hope with all my heart that my sister can over come this and go one to live for many more years. I also have to realize that I am not in control of her destiny, and whether she lives or dies, the best thing that I can do is live my life fully, with or without her. Finding happiness and being ever watchful for the good surprises, and learning to love the person I am. I can start by learning to see myself as others see me, embracing that quirky girl and living a full and exciting life, with surprises around every corner.
I will continue to be "Just an Ordinary Woman, embracing her Extraordinary Life!"
