I went to bed only to awake and find the World had Changed

I had gone to bed on June 14th, like any other night and awoke the next morning to find that the World had changed.

I didn't know it at first, I hadn't switched on the news, but the first panicked phone call came at 10 after 6, from Mark. So distressed as he tried to tell me the news that there had been a shooting at the Hub Mall, that there were people from G4S killed. His voice had risen to a fevered pitch, as he was say "MOM, THAT IS WHERE MICHELLE WORKS!!!!!!" I remained calm as I was explaining to him that it was OK, that Michelle no longer rode on the trucks that she was a dispatcher and a trainer, that she was OK. As the day wore on, and more and more phone calls and texts came, a sinking fear began to grip my soul. Our dear Michelle.... NO! NO! my insides screamed, don't let it be.

I tried to rationalize why Peter and Cheryl had been called to come, why Victor had been called and now could not be reached. I was refusing to accept even a remote possibility that she was gone. I don't think that I will ever forget the text that came from Nigel.... "Michelle was one of the 3." I went numb.... 

I could write all kinds of things here about what happened next. but the bottom line is - Here it is, 2 months to the day that I sat here at this very desk in agony, wondering.... and everything is the same but our little piece of the world is different.

I want to write to make a difference, to enlighten the world to share a bit of me. So I will try and move past this as I know that our beautiful Michelle Shegelski would not like it if I let this define me and what I write. I know that I don't have her wit and poise, but I will plod on. I have some pieces about Love that I am going to post in the coming days that I am going to dedicate to Michelle and her loving bereaved husband Victor Shegelski.

We miss you Sweetie!