The Calm before the Storm

Well today I am little bit calmer and not so despondent. After talking with the 'Headhunter" last night I can see that there is hope with that situation. Won't know until the beginning of the week, because if I HAVE to take a job I would rather work for the company that he is representing, and he is willing to release me to them if they offer a permanent position. So I can see the issue that will arise, offers from both and then having to choose. You always get plagued but the fear of what if I choose the WRONG ONE.

I am a bit disappointed that the Universe didn't answer my plea and have someone, anyone comment or commiserate with me on my choices. Maybe I have finally given over to the dark side and have gone completely off my rocker. Talking to myself, well at least I haven't started answering myself.

Searching for jobs, is always such a hard thing. How to sell yourself. It's always so crazy, other people seem to be able see something in me that I can't see in myself. Maybe that is a good thing, it could be just the thing that keeps me humble.

It never ceases to amaze me that I keep getting better positions all the time, moving up the corporate ladder, even though it's not my attention. In both of these positions as a Project Coordinator, the next logical place for me to go would be Project Management. That's kind of scary. Here I am, I didn't stick it out to graduate from High School, have my GED, a diploma from CDI and I am succeeding. I am in demand. People I like and respect see me advancing myself in the corporate world. That is part of what makes me an Ordinary Woman, Living an Extraordinary Life.

Well, on that note, the Ordinary Woman better go and do some laundry, not successful enough to have a maid yet.

Universe, thanks for listening.

Winnie

So, now what do I do..... They are in the next stage, wanting to move forward, writing an offer. What the heck have I gotten myself into? Why do I do this to myself? Am I insane? Wait that's not a question one should ask, especially of one's self, when you are talking to yourself. I just find myself getting sad, even before I accept this, going into a job that I don't think I want. I know "Why did I even apply?", right? Well there is a number of activities that I like to engage in, like eating, knitting, letter writing, to mention a few, and they require this stuff called money and they most acceptable way to get money is to work..... so hence the job hunting and applying. YUCK.... why can' t I just be independently wealthy?

Oh well, I will just wait and see what they have to offer. Enough of my BS for today, no one is listening but it sure does feel good to talk.

Feeling a little less ordinary, or maybe acknowledging the extraordinary :-)

Winnie

The Waiting Game

Well, here I am riding that emotional roller coaster of the job hunt. Applying for jobs, being contacted for jobs, interviews, second interviews, no job, two almost certain, then not so certain. It drives me crazy. The jobs in question are not even ones that I really want to do.The frustration of not knowing what I really want to do with my life. What do I really want to be when I grow up?

I feel like I am really stuck in a rut. Pigeon holed into administration work, which I am really good at, but Man I hate it. How does one break out of that type casting? All the things I really want to do are either very unattainable or not very practical. Like owning my own Yarn Shop or Independent Book Store, or being a writer Full time. Is the problem that I don't have enough drive? Or am just too afraid to take the risk? Poor Hubby, he just wants to see me be happy.

So here I sit today, waiting on two different jobs, both in Admin., both well paying, one permanent, one a contract position. Yesterday they were almost a given, today full of uncertainty, both on their side and certainly on my side. With one it's someone with in the company that might be available to fill the position, the other is still in the interview process. (Others to see) . What do I do if they offer me a job, either one of the companies? Am I only doing this to please my Hubby? How do I reinvent myself? I can't even say why I really don't like these types of jobs. I think that it is fear of rejection, a life long issue of mine.

I know I am rambling, I am trying to write my way through this. Crying out to the universe in hopes that someone, somewhere will read this blog and impart some words of wisdom or suggestions. I am feeling like such a failure......

Well, here's hoping that on the drive home something will come to me and I will know what I should be doing. I have to end this post as my battery is just about out of juice.

Until the Next Time....

Feeling Pretty Ordinary
Winnie

Moving On....

Here I am again, after being away for a LONG time. Looking back at my previous posts, I'm not sure just where I was going with it. SO  I will move on. I am "Just an Ordinary Woman leading an extraordinary life...."

Did you ever wake up and wonder "How did I end up here?" I have travelled many roads and have worn many different hats, but right now I am wondering once again who I really am. It's time to reinvent myself AGAIN. To be 53 and unemployed, searching for what I want to be when I grow up seems to be so senseless, but just right all in the same breath. Searching for the thing that will give me back that sparkle in my eyes and the ability to walk into a room and command the attention of all.