Well, here I am riding that emotional roller coaster of the job hunt. Applying for jobs, being contacted for jobs, interviews, second interviews, no job, two almost certain, then not so certain. It drives me crazy. The jobs in question are not even ones that I really want to do.The frustration of not knowing what I really want to do with my life. What do I really want to be when I grow up?
I feel like I am really stuck in a rut. Pigeon holed into administration work, which I am really good at, but Man I hate it. How does one break out of that type casting? All the things I really want to do are either very unattainable or not very practical. Like owning my own Yarn Shop or Independent Book Store, or being a writer Full time. Is the problem that I don't have enough drive? Or am just too afraid to take the risk? Poor Hubby, he just wants to see me be happy.
So here I sit today, waiting on two different jobs, both in Admin., both well paying, one permanent, one a contract position. Yesterday they were almost a given, today full of uncertainty, both on their side and certainly on my side. With one it's someone with in the company that might be available to fill the position, the other is still in the interview process. (Others to see) . What do I do if they offer me a job, either one of the companies? Am I only doing this to please my Hubby? How do I reinvent myself? I can't even say why I really don't like these types of jobs. I think that it is fear of rejection, a life long issue of mine.
I know I am rambling, I am trying to write my way through this. Crying out to the universe in hopes that someone, somewhere will read this blog and impart some words of wisdom or suggestions. I am feeling like such a failure......
Well, here's hoping that on the drive home something will come to me and I will know what I should be doing. I have to end this post as my battery is just about out of juice.
Until the Next Time....
Feeling Pretty Ordinary
Winnie
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